Dear My One True Love

Dear My love,

I’ve not seen you in so long and I am so sorry. I tried to convince my friends to come visit a while back but they’re acting a bit standoffish. I know they don’t always understand our love, but they are acting like they are better than you.

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5 People You Will Meet At Work

Navigating the world of work is a tricky task, and not only because you need to find new and inventive ways of hiding the fact that you have spent all day on Twitter and playing solitaire. Going to work is primarily difficult because the people you meet at work are a baffling mix of people that shouldn’t actually be allowed in society, people you would never think of mixing with in real life, and people you will fall utterly in love with and never let leave your life.

Here are a few of those people:

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Pre Sleep Shame

There is a moment just before I drop off to sleep where the horrifying reality of my existence comes flooding back to me in a series of fairly painful flashbacks.

I assume that part of becoming an adult is learning to shut these memories out, or in the very least decrease the amount of cringeworthy encounters you have to in turn decrease the amount of content my cruel brain has to punish me with. As of now, I appear to only be increasing them.

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Recipe: Hangover Food

There are a couple of things to remember when you are cooking hungover: keep it carb based, include lots of salt, and if you think there is enough cheese you are wrong and should add more. If possible, aforementioned cheese needs to be melted. This is pretty much the same no matter what you have been drinking the night before, with the exception of whiskey because whiskey is an evil drink and you won’t be alive to cook.

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Unavoidable Awkward Situations

Whether you are one of those fantastically accomplished adults or you are so passable that you are hanging on to your adult card by the skin of your teeth, there are some situations that are just never going to be comfortable, even if you pretend really really hard that you’re cool with it.

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Recipe: For Date Night

In the lead up to date night cooking, you need to take a few things into consideration. First up, establish whether or not the person coming round has any specialist dietary requirements. Whilst I have always been a great advocate of spending a quality, romantic five hours in A&E with the love of your life, it’s advisable to aim for a slightly sexier injury – like a sprained ankle – not a giant lobster face from an allergic reaction.

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How Are You?

Adults have this annoying habit of constantly asking people how they are. As passable adults it is likely that we ask this less because we know that the answers are far from straight forward, and we’ve yet to perfect that – Nod – Smile – “Great thanks”- thing that real adults do. There’s still a distinct sadness in our eyes that gives the game away and will force the asker to lengthen their R’s. “No, really, how arrrrreee you?”.

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