2016 hasn’t been all that great, I’ve not achieved any of my many goals, like world domination and eating less lasagne. Brexit didn’t go my way and being a woman and having a brain, I wasn’t all that fond of Trump.
Luckily I have big plans for 2017, so I am really looking forward to destroying the entire galaxy in a violent Brexit fuelled rage and perhaps eating an apple every now and then.
As we say goodbye to 2016 we will be bombarded with Facebook statuses, Instagram Best Nines and Tweets about how everyone else achieved so much this year. If you have been one of those people able to share pictures of the new home you bought, the baby you contributed DNA to, or perhaps the massive party you threw to celebrate wearing a white dress all day without spilling wine on it, then that status will have perhaps been quite easy to write. But those of us without shiny rocks on our fingers, well paid jobs and any potato sized human to look after may have struggled.
Fear not, my passable brothers and sisters. There are many things you can celebrate this year if you have just about managed to slide under the closing garage door of 2016. Here’s a quick list of things you can celebrate, if you too are a Passable Adult.
Eating a whole pizza and not throwing up
Drinking too much whiskey and waking up the next morning with more than 1 vague memory.
Contributing to your pension/ paying off some of your student loan…even if it was £10.
Saving enough shampoo by not leaving the house at weekends, that you didn’t buy any for a month.
Managing to stick to a “Clean Living” diet for more than 48 minutes.
Your food baby.
Your food wedding.*
Your food moving house.*
Your food graduation.*
(* Please Note: None of these are real things)
Making a friend as an adult, that you didn’t meet in work.
Spending 4 straight weeks in work just playing Minesweeper, and not having anyone notice.
Going to at least one wedding this year that didn’t end in you drunkenly sending inappropriate pictures to people.
Going to at least one wedding this year where you didn’t ‘wine cry’.
Managing to buy a bottle of milk and actually drink it and not leave it to go off in the fridge.
Celebrate yourself, and just how passable you are. Mediocrity is beautiful and glorious. So you didn’t get married, or produce any miniature versions of yourself. You just about made it to 2017, and that is (sort of) better!