Failing Like An Adult

The world sucks.

No, really. It sucks. And if you have the chance to live in some kind of sensory deprivation tank or just in a pod in Space floating about eating Pringles, then take that chance, because the world sucks.

You can be the luckiest person alive and I promise you that at some point you are going to encounter failure. If you are a proper grownup, you will take this failure with grace and dignity. You’ll use it to fuel your future endeavours and let it push you towards success. It will be the kick up the bum that you need, and no matter how many times you get kicked, you’ll still haul yourself up from the ground.

If you are a more passable adult, you will flail about like a drunk squirrel falling out of a tree, hitting every single branch on your way down.

Some activities to try* are:

  • Crying loudly on a train whilst the rain hits the window
  • Resigning yourself to a life of crime and stealing the purse out of the bag next to you, only to discover that’s your purse and it’s completely empty.
  • Stamping on woodland creatures
  • Destroying all your close relationships
  • Planning out a career as a Pokemon trainer and invest all of your remaining money into purchases on the app store

* Do not try any of these.

For the most passable among us, failure may feel like a constant state, and jumping from disaster to disaster might feel like a cycle that we are completely helpless to end, but just remember resilience is one of those great bullshit terms that people love to see on your CV and if it gets really tough you will still be doing better than that badger you just stomped on.*

*No, I’m serious don’t stamp on animals, I’m being a bitch for comedic effect.



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