Rules For Growing Up

Part of growing up is finding who you are, it’s navigating the tricky path to find your spirit animal and to understand your inner child. It’s a beautiful journey of self discovery and choosing to be wonderfully, perfectly, happy. It’s clean eating, yoga, and drinking 4000 litres of water a day. You will never be a true grownup unless you wake up every morning and plaster a giant smile on your face from the minute your kale smoothie touches your lips.

Except that’s all bollocks.

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Recipe: Cooking for Mum & Dad

The challenge when cooking for your parents is balancing sophistication with that little bit of helplessness that your parents expect from you. Obviously, the preferable situation is for them to cook –  after all they love feeding you. The second choice is that they take you out to dinner and pay, because they have secure jobs and a mortgage they’ve finished paying off, and you are likely to never have those things because they voted for Brexit. Nevertheless, every now and then, you may find yourself in the situation where you have invited them round and misguidedly offered to cook them a meal.

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Living at Home vs Not Living at Home

Look at that incredibly catchy and intelligent title. What will this blog be about, I wonder? Wow. I cannot wait to win an award one day for titles with flair and style.

Anyway. On to the good* stuff.

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Pre Sleep Shame

There is a moment just before I drop off to sleep where the horrifying reality of my existence comes flooding back to me in a series of fairly painful flashbacks.

I assume that part of becoming an adult is learning to shut these memories out, or in the very least decrease the amount of cringeworthy encounters you have to in turn decrease the amount of content my cruel brain has to punish me with. As of now, I appear to only be increasing them.

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Recipe: Hangover Food

There are a couple of things to remember when you are cooking hungover: keep it carb based, include lots of salt, and if you think there is enough cheese you are wrong and should add more. If possible, aforementioned cheese needs to be melted. This is pretty much the same no matter what you have been drinking the night before, with the exception of whiskey because whiskey is an evil drink and you won’t be alive to cook.

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Recipe: For Date Night

In the lead up to date night cooking, you need to take a few things into consideration. First up, establish whether or not the person coming round has any specialist dietary requirements. Whilst I have always been a great advocate of spending a quality, romantic five hours in A&E with the love of your life, it’s advisable to aim for a slightly sexier injury – like a sprained ankle – not a giant lobster face from an allergic reaction.

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How Are You?

Adults have this annoying habit of constantly asking people how they are. As passable adults it is likely that we ask this less because we know that the answers are far from straight forward, and we’ve yet to perfect that – Nod – Smile – “Great thanks”- thing that real adults do. There’s still a distinct sadness in our eyes that gives the game away and will force the asker to lengthen their R’s. “No, really, how arrrrreee you?”.

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